91. MINE IS GOOD, YOURS ARE BAD

Understanding Politeness On The Road

I rode taxibike to office the other day. The driver drove in zig zag mode to beat the traffic. He went further to the right to get more space and skipped lines of cars, before slipping to the lines of cars in front row to finally turn left. It was so satisfying that I followed that trick with my city car. Then, one fateful afternoon, I was at an intersection, turning left when a motorcycle overtook me from the right, and proceeded to go to my left side. It happened in front of me and I just had to curse the driver. So, I said to myself, He thought it was a trick! A strategy! Oh, that strategy of yours!!! Strategy my bottom pink cheek!!! Then my boyfriend wondered why I said that. Then I told him, Of course it's pink and it's like cheeks! It's mine!!! Yours are dry, darkened and smelly!!! See also Taxibike Nightmare Going Strong and Steady Dangerous Move You Got There

CLOSE Related Offers

90. WORKING SO HARD AT THE MARKET

Understanding Deep Misfocus

This morning about 6 AM, I went to the market to buy some milk. It was so hectic everyone was trying to get a parking space. We finally got a parking space near a bunch of motorcycles further down. Then, another car came and parked just behind me, blocking my way out. On the way out, as predicted, I didn't know who to call to move that car behind me so I tried to get rid of all the motorcycles just in front of me, so I could turn to the left and go. It turned out that motorcycles are too heavy, I sweat all over, received so many angry bikers' complaints, then the car behind me backed away, quickly replaced by another car, and I kept on moving the motorcycles, and finally it's done in the afternoon around 4 PM... Oh maybe 4:45 PM because there were three more new small motorcycles that I had to get rid of. Then I tried to go to the left passing the motorcycles, adjusting all the motorcycles position a bit, arranging them neatly to give more space to my car, then I found a parking ticket machine, standing there so arrogant because I couldn't just illegally get that off my way. I went back to my initial parking position, and tried to go right instead. It was pretty easy because all I needed was to go up the pavement a little bit, and then I was free. I didn't want to put the motorcycles into their initial positions, so I went by passing the motorcycles I had moved, while glancing to know that there wasn't anymore car behind me just then. Misfocused See also I Am Sweaty Doctors, What's in That Mind of Yours? Cheapest Way to Know Your Weight Without Body Scale

CLOSE Related Offers

89. MY DINNER

Understanding Rotten Fruit

We love to eat fruits as our dinner. One afternoon, my Mom was peeling a mango for us, when she asked me if I still wanted to eat. She had that mango on her hand, and she said it wasn't a good mango, but maybe there were some good parts we could save. She gave me the mango saying all of it was for me, but I needed to peel out the bad parts first. I was going to accept the mango when I saw that mango for the first time. It was full of maggots happily travelling in and out of the mango. Some of them are in my Mom's hand too. Ma, I'm not some voodoo witch I don't eat maggots See also Me Dunno How to Use Chopsticks, That's Why Beloved, Wonderful, Educative Parent - Have Successful Loving Children who Love Their Parents - Die Smiling Practice Makes Perfect, The Short Story

CLOSE Related Offers

88. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BODY PART?

Understanding My Best Feature

Some people might say neck, some people might say shoulder, legs, back, etc. You can even have them insured just for safety. What if your friend innocently asks you about this? A boyfriend, maybe? I always say my eyes are my favourite part. So they won't have any weird imagination about me. I want them to look into my eyes, and follow my instructions the second I blink my eyes. See also I Am Sweaty Hair-Faced Monster What Do You Do After Disposing Body Waste?

CLOSE Related Offers

87. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ANIMAL CALLINGS

Understanding How to Tease People Properly

A kid from the neighbourhood came to visit me and my Mom this afternoon. He told me his friend called him a pig. Sure, he admitted that he called his friend with impolite words first, a worm. He picked worm, because he still had respect towards his friend, and hence, he didn't call him with other animal calling. Then, I told him that it should serve the same purpose anyway because worm is a kind of animal, and that's disrespectful towards animals too. He reasoned it wasn't the same hurt feeling. He rattled how it wouldn't hurt so much when someone had called him a worm. He would feel hurt when someone called him a monkey, or pig. It's too painful. Oh that children's life I won't miss so greatly... See also Screamin' Not the Right Time to Make Omelette I Don't Want Surprises

CLOSE Related Offers

86. NOT THE RIGHT TIME TO MAKE OMELETTE

Understanding Time to Play

I remember when I was so small, I went outside and play with my friends. We decided to play cooking. Since we don't get to play with real ingredients, we have to play with sands instead. One day, my Mom told me not to play outside. She had other plans and wanted me to do my homework right away. I didn't want to, as it was my play time at that hour. So I slipped away and played cooking with my friends. We decided to cook worms that afternoon. We were cutting the worms, getting ready to cook omelette. I was so happy it was my turn to cut those worms. I planned to add tomatoes to my special omelette later. Then I noticed my friends were grinning and asked me to see who's beside me squatting. I was so excited I thought I got a new friend today. I looked up and found my Mom was beside me with her angry face. I was shocked and screamed so loud and ran away uncontrollably, crying. I was so scared to death. See also Gentle Reminder to All Mothers My Mom is So Angry I Don't Know Why, Please Help I Still Love You, Mom, Because of That Revenge Allowance God Gives Me from Time to Time

CLOSE Related Offers

85. SCREAMIN'

Understanding Animal Crossing Over

I don't have a big house, just enough for my Mom and me. We clean the house every week, but since we're so ignorant we never really have a clean house. Then, we hired a maid to come and clean our house every day. Even so, we kinda make it dirty again the minute she finished cleaning. We also have so many things in our house. We have around seven or eight boxes of plastic bags lying around, we collected them together, we won't even think of throwing them away. We also have eight beds lying around we thought it's a good idea to stock them while we have money to buy them. We can't be so sure when the only bed we use will wear off. Of course, we have my books and my Mom's different kinds of cooking utensils and machines too. My house is very crowded with stuff and they become so dusty that animals decided to also stay and breed in our home. Come afternoon or midnight, when it's all very quiet, you can hear the animals talking, making various sounds (not the creaking house sound, but animals sound). We also have what we call crossing period, where animals decided to come out of their hiding places, and cross over to the other sides. At dawn, huge centipede mama tried to cross over from the garden between the plants to our shoe racks. In the morning when we have our breakfast, two cockroaches decided to cross over from the living room to our kitchen.    Once, we even got a visit from the neighbourhood rat. That huge rat papa may be looking for the huge centipede mama as it ran and ran around the house. We couldn't sleep that night but we finally captured that mister rat at 3 AM. Fugg Y'all Animals!!! Fugg Yaouw!!! Super Fugg the Fuggest of Fugg Fugg Fugg!!! See also It Should be Mandatory to Have a Bunker in the Basement Mosquitoes: The Vampires Among Us, Loan Sharks: The Werewolves Among Us Fighting about Whose Things to Throw Away

CLOSE Related Offers

84. I DON'T WANT SURPRISES

Understanding The Impact of Reading Minds

What if there's a device that can help people read other's mind. I'm not going to discuss whatever I might do if I can read minds, but the horror I would have to endure because others (including animals and trees and things) can read my intentions. If I see you smiling at me, I'd begin to get curious at what it might mean. Then, I'd take wild guesses, and my mind would uncontrollably reveal all my secrets and sins in front of your face, just like that. Oh no... If I see an animal; a cockroach coming at me, I don't wanna know its intention I just want my Mom. Imagine if suddenly there are too many cockroaches rally at my direction, do you think we can consider it animal strike? If there's a cockroach outbreak, or arachnid outbreak, leeches outbreak, does it mean they are terrorists? We must somehow put these terrorist animal in jail, for life. Do you think Cinderella understood her friends' (the rats) intention? Or was it just another demonstration, but nobody, not even Cinderella listened? See also Cinderella, How I Hate You So Require Military Assistance It Should be Mandatory to Have a Bunker in the Basement

CLOSE Related Offers

83. LIKE WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

Understanding What Went Wrong

I just woke up and still feeling very weak. Then I slipped and fell down. The mat in front of my bedroom was slippery. I went to shower and get dressed quickly before I went into my bedroom again and slipped one more time. I went out to the kitchen for breakfast and slipped again. I went back to my bedroom to get my briefcase where I slipped again. My Mom was there this time, she said, "Let the mat go. It just is slippery on that area and you never learn to avoid that area. Just admit it that you're careless". Then she went away calmly. I was sitting on the floor, my body hurt all over, and said loudly, "So, you noticed, Moommwh???!!! See also Happy Or Bored, There You Go to Mama My Love, The God of Puke

CLOSE Related Offers

82. REQUIRE MILITARY ASSISTANCE

Understanding How to Survive Against Wild Animal

What if there's a wild animal in front of our house? What if a shark decided to visit me, I meant us, and it got hungry because of the long swim from... some uncharted continent? I wonder why all horror movies, like shark attack, bear attack, tiger attack, crocodile attack, snack attack, or dinosaur attack only have strong, kind-hearted men to guard us? I demand the military to join forces with the civilians to fight those animals. They are threatening our very existence. We can't just let the military tackle other problems in Iraq (other countries) while we're struggling here to fight... beasts? We're civilians, we don't do war. I mean, the army fights during zombie outbreak, but not wild animals attack? The government let out a tank to fight Hulk for our sake, even when the Hulk means no harm to us. Therefore, I do think that when there's news about some wild animal attack, or the zoo animals escape, I want the military ralies to get those animals back to their rightful territories. At least give us a tank. In addition to that, it's important that the Mayor, the Liutenant, the Captain, the General to line up and give the animals a good fight, defeat them and claim victory without guns. The animals don't even understand what a gun is. We need to give them a fair fight, so they'd succumb to our mighty power. Don't come look for me, guys Just give me that letter of offer I wanna be FBI agent, doing detective work See also Jason, Why? Book a Movie Ticket During Zombie Attack, It's Safe (I Think) When Fame is Your Life Goal

CLOSE Related Offers

81. GOING STRONG AND STEADY

Understanding How to Overtake Another Car

I can drive a bit faster now. However, it seems that other cars think I'm not that fast. They've always tried to overtake me as if I'm a slow driver. I did try to overtake cars in front of me too though, but somehow, another car always seemed to have the same opinion and overtook me first then proceeded to overtake the car in front of me. I found this annoying because I then had to make room for that fast car to overtake me and then overtake the car in front of me. I had to brake quickly and I was so terrified that the car behind me couldn't take it and hit me from behind. There should be a way to communicate with other cars when we're driving. I need a customised honk. This honk should be so dynamic that I can just press it and it will scream, "Don't overtake, don't overtake!!! I'm gonna overtake the red SUV in front! Let's do it together!!! Me first!!!" Maybe then we have to have some kind of a secret strategy discussion on how to best overtake the targetted car. We're fast and we're furious and we're overtaking... Together, we're strong and unbeatable See also How to Drive Angry at The Right Time Please Drive Towards Each Sides of The Road I'm Coming Through

CLOSE Related Offers

80. DANGEROUS MOVE YOU GOT THERE

Understanding How to Honk to Signal The Car Behind

I was driving on the highway when a truck was suddenly behind me. It followed my move while also turning the truck's headlights on and off to signal me. I wondered what kind of signal that was. Maybe he wanted me to go faster? Maybe he wanted me to pull over? Maybe he wanted me to get out of his way so he could drive past me? Either way, I was in front of him. How could I send signal back, does the honking work both ways? How could I d'brow brow him ? More importantly, how could I say to him angrily, "Hey! It's dangerous to do that on the highway! Do you have bad intention towards me and my car?! Stop it or I call the cops!" See also How to Drive Angry at The Right Time Please Drive Towards Each Sides of The Road I am Coming Through Counselling Session while Driving at The Busy Intersection, Yes, I'm not That Good Yet

CLOSE Related Offers