104. WE SHOULD HAVE SCHOOL TO EDUCATE MOSQUITOES

Understanding Evil Laugh

I wonder how mosquito mums teach their children. Mosquitoes are relentless. I know they need to eat, but they never bother trying to suck the rat's blood, or carcass' blood. They chase us instead. It's unbelievable to think that they make us become their prey. They hunt us like crazy. It's also too unbelievable to think that we are the chosen one. They have preferred our human blood to other creatures. I don't know whether I should feel proud or angry, it's a mixture of both feelings. Last night, a mosquito targetted my wrist, I wiped my wrist, scratched my wrist, blocked mosquitoes from taking blood from my wrist. But no matter how hard I tried, they never stopped coming back for more. They knew the exact place of my wrist and they pointed their needles to my wrist. Sting! Fly around... Sting! Fly a bit... Sting! Fly again... It didn't bother to look around, it just kinda stung me directly and it was bullseye. I hated it so much. Two to three mosquitoes on my wrist, two around my feet, one at every other parts. It even penetrated the clothes! I couldn't sleep well last night. Then I heard its sound on my ears. Buzzz.... Buzzz... It's moaning on my ears. It asked me to pity it, and surrendered my blood!!! Oh, those disgusting mosquitoes! What happens if I get dengue! I can't sue it, I can't give it my hospital bills, I can't ask it to be held responsible! We should introduce Edward Cullen (from Twilight Saga) so mosquitoes can turn vegetarian. Then maybe we can consider marrying prince / princess mosquito later. If mosquitoes are vegetarian, maybe they're not so disgusting anymore. Hey, mosquitoes! You're like Lucifer! Your bites make me wanna hunt you down! You've made me vampires! I've become evil creature! Now I'm flying! Flying to smack you and your entire population! Die! Die! Die! (Evil satisfactory laugh) Now I can see how funny that was... See also I Am Sweaty House of Lizards Screamin'

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103. HULK, HANG IN THERE DUDE, I'M COMING

Understanding Signpost

Recently I went to a hotel visiting my friend who came from Canada to surprise his girlfriend, who apparently lived in town but I didn't know her. Surely I went there with my beloved car. Upon reaching the hotel, I proceeded to find a parking spot in the basement. Just when I turned my car to enter the basement parking entrance, a parking officer came banging at the back of my car. I was taken aback at how rude he was, I stopped to find out what happened. He banged my car like he banged a truck! Being inside the car, I felt what my car was feeling! I felt so violated! He told me the parking basement was through another gate. I told him that there wasn't a sign anywhere I wasn't supposed to know the entrance location. He replied back to me, advising me to go and ask around when I didn't know which way to go. I was gonna say I had fuggin' been in the fuggin' car the entire fuggin' time fugfuggh, but I didn't think it was worth the effort, so I proceeded to go to the supposed fuggin' entrance anyway. Later on I found out that it was actually the exit way from the basement parking. Therefore, it was too dangerous for me to go from that direction into the basement. I kept wondering why the fuggin' sign wasn't fuggin' there! The fuggin' anger is still hangin' Mister. You keep being a fug. So I can be angrier and reach Hulk mode. Then I go hangout with Hulk He finally can have friends, ... ME See also How to Drive Angry At The Right Time Please Drive Towards Each Sides of The Road, I'm Coming Through Dangerous Move You Got There

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102. NEW ONE CAUSES PAIN IN THE NECK, LITERALLY

Understanding Patience in Our Quest to Success

My Mom and I went to supermarket to browse through a range of pillows (yes, again...). Most of pillows nowadays use memory foam. I guess the foam remembers the shape of our head, so the more we sleep on it, the pillow will have a dented surface; a mark of our head, and the better we can sleep during the night. I wonder how we can survive sleeping with new memory foam pillow, because it hasn't remembered our head yet. I imagined me being impatient with the pillow, banging my head repeatedly towards the pillow on daily basis because I might need to sleep better faster. That feeling when you've become stunned all the time Too many head-bangings on the pillow See also Working So Hard At The Market Like What's Wrong With Me? The Mightiest Motorcycle in The Whole Wide World

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101. PLAYING HANGMAN WITH FOREIGNERS

Understanding Foreigners

I was with my Mum at the mall. We met a group of tourists who were asking for direction. Being kind, my Mum pinched my waist, and pushed me towards the group, asking me to help the tourists know their way around. I proceeded to interfere their conversation, looking for ways I could help them. They were glad someone came and offered assistance. It was then I realised they spoke broken English. I tried to help them, by talking a bit slower so they had time to digest and understand me. So, I had to show them my infamous trick; play hangman with them. I drew a picture or used hand gesture to express my meaning. Then they had to guess until they got the correct information. All their answers were unexpected. I didn't understand any of them. They were foreigners, remember? See also I Am Sweaty Where's Your Car? Sprinkle of Pain Relief

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100. WHERE'S YOUR CAR?

Understanding Small Talk

It was at noon, I was so hungry I hadn't eaten since morning. My Mom was at her office. She had been angry since morning, and then at noon, she asked me to go fetch her. She didn't make me breakfast, she didn't prepare any meals that day. I needed to fetch her, and also to take her to lunch. I met a neighbour on my way out, he asked about my car, Hey, girl... Where's your car? Well, I was clearly instructed not to fetch her by car, and I was in a hurry I didn't want to waste my time explaining my situations to my neighbour, I was so hungry I hated him for asking about my car, so I replied to him, It's cookin' my lunch, mate. He smiled and went past me. I smiled too, so proud because my chef was a car. My lifestyle must've gone upwards uncontrollably, I was the richest in the entire neighbourhood. See also Please Let Me Play With You Mistaken Outbreak Not the Right Time to Make Omelette

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