31. MOSQUITOES: THE VAMPIRES AMONG US, LOAN SHARKS: THE WEREWOLVES AMONG US

Understanding Vampires

Mosquitoes suck our blood to live. Vampires too. Simple.

Loan sharks charge way more than what we bargained for. They suck our blood sweats too. They are like vampires, but more hairy. Hence, we call them werewolves. Auuuuuuu... (Slap !!! You talk too much loan sharks. I won't fall for your tricks again.)

Mosquitoes and loan sharks are also enemies. They suck each others' blood. The loan sharks don't hesitate (I believe so) to snap those naughty mosquitoes, which in turn, won't hesitate to suck the loan sharks' blood (for living) too.

     

I guess, vampires era has ended too long time ago. Vampires and werewolves have reincarnated to mosquitoes now. Loan sharks are just the last remaining of them, that will turn to mosquitoes when the time is right.

GOD IS JUST

30. HOW TO DRIVE ANGRY AT THE RIGHT TIME

Understanding How to Drive

I just learned how to drive, got my driving license, and now I drive everywhere I go. I still drive awkwardly, and whenever a car passes me by, overtakes my car suddenly, I can't get my hands to honk the horn. After about ten seconds later, when the car which overtook my car had gone overtaking other cars, then I could honk. The moment has passed, and it's always too late.

     

One day, I was at a red traffic light. I was way behind the line. When the light went green, I honked like crazy. Surely the cars in front of me needed to move slowly at first, and I didn't bother to give them time. I just wanted to honk the horns. It's the only time I got the moment right. What I meant by honking was, "Drive quickly you guys, the light has turned green". Surely, my Mom, who was in the passenger seat that time, slapped me in the face. "That's too much girl. Shut up!" Then, I stopped honking and went driving like a loser as usual.

29. CHEAPEST WAY TO KNOW YOUR WEIGHT WITHOUT BODY SCALE

Understanding Body Weight

If anybody close to you has huge and strong body, and they are smart enough to know how heavy one pound is, jump onto his / her arms and see how he / she guesstimates. Your body weight is around there. That is one way to do it.

Otherwise, if you have frying oil at home, remember:

1 Litre = 1 Kilogram

So, bring several new frying oil bottles, if you are smart, bring 20 of new 4L frying oil bottles, and bring them out in the garden. Find a seesaw somewhere, then you ride that seesaw and see how many frying oil bottles on the opposite direction so that the seesaw is balanced. If it takes you around 10 bottles to balance the seesaw, it means you weigh around 40 kilograms, or 88 pounds. Try to weigh against dining chairs, shoes, books, etc. Average weight of dining chairs is 6 pounds, one A4 book containing 100 pages weighs around 15 ounces. It's hard work, but it's very cheap.

So Smart

28. WHEN FAME IS YOUR LIFE GOAL

Understanding Male Singer

I rarely watch TV. Last night I saw a very energetic singer. He winked at the audience. Surely, he felt his aura was illuminating. If only he was an ordinary person, people would have guessed he was gay. I guess, male singer really have a rough life. They need to be coquettish, even if it is against their macho nature. They just have to. It is their obligation. I felt really sorry for them.

     

27. HELP!!! I CAN'T WAKE UP!!!

Understanding Dreams

I had a horrible dream last night. My family and I were on an adventurous family trip. We went to Amazon jungle, met Tarzan, Jane, the King Kong and family. We travelled across the sea to meet various sea monsters. It was so fun that we accidentally got separated. I panicked as hell that I looked and looked for my family everywhere. Then, I felt the bed. I realized that I was sleeping, but the dream was so intense I refused to wake up. I hadn't found my family yet. Moreover, the dream was in cartoon. It was so addictive I decided to look for my family the whole day. It was a fine Sunday.