4. BOYS, BEWARE OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLS

Understanding Beauty

All the time, we only think that ugly girls fart, ugly girls snort, ugly girls pick their noses, ugly girls take a dump.

Have you ever noticed that farting, snorting, taking a dump, picking noses and all other disgusting things are human behaviour? Even beautiful girls do that. Trust me, if they don't, they might be zombies.

You will see that beautiful girls are not that beautiful after all.
Beautiful girls come with great maintenance cost:
- Their make ups
- Their clothes
- Their (Your) beautiful children's social environment

Some guys do everything to get the beauties (your daughters) come close to them. Guys may want to make the beauties to be as stupid as they can be, so the beauties come asking for help all the time. Same thing works for girls to handsome guys.

Sorry, I am ugly. That's why.

See also:
PFInterest: The Meaning of Beauty

3. POPULAR BECAUSE OF ANGER

Understanding Fame

Host:

     Here comes the new American Idol!

Audience:
     < clap hands >

< Since I chose another candidate for the winner, I don't really like the result >

Me posting on twitter

I don't like you.
I have never watched you.
I refuse to watch you.
I won't buy your CDs.
I won't even look at you even with my eyes closed.
Congratulations for your winning, you added one hater to your collections.

American Idol winner replied on twitter

Why do you have to hate me?
Well, haters gonna hate...

Can't believe you replied.
Thank you for the popularity.
I still hate you.

You crazy mother fakkah!

You know that you are free right?

Who cares? I am just happy getting angry at you.

I fart in your general direction (from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

What? Why? I hate you.

Me too. Hate you back.

2. GENTLE REMINDER TO ALL MOTHERS

Understanding Mothers

Remember when you yell at me when I get detention?
Remember that time, when you forced me to squat at our living room corner?
Remember your cynical words to my punk boyfriend?

Now, I am old enough to stand by myself before the law. I am getting back at you.

I will remember to yell at you when you forget my boyfriend's Mom's birthday.

I will remember to force you to squat at the corner of the street, waiting for me to pick you up at the grocery store.

I will remember to say cynical words to your spouse, yes.. I mean my father.

Did you know:

I got detention because I punched my classmate for saying rude things about you, my birth mother?

I squatted at our living room corner when you forgot that I got sprain ankle that afternoon?

My boyfriend punched me 10 times because  you used 10 words in your cynical sentence?

Kidding Mom, just be warned though, I can get back at you. That's all. I still love you. So much.

 

1. SPRINKLE OF PAIN RELIEF

Understanding pain relief product.

New type of pain relief ! Spray and go !

The time of pain relief patch is now gone. You can now spray a pain relief before you go exercising. Spray that pain relief, and you should be good to go.

Spray to your shoulder, and warm it gets. Spray to the back of your neck, and warm it gets. Spray to your back, and warm it gets. Spray to your breast, and warm it gets. Spray to your back, no, go below, just before your legs, we call it our back, and warm it gets. Don't forget that hole, spray there too, and warm it gets. Now, buy 100 bottles of that spray, and pour them contents into a bucket. Bathe in it, and your body shall feel warm all the way.

Oops, wait. Don't wipe your body dry. You ought to preserve the warmth.